Now that I’m older– (Anonymous)

(Note: I received this in my email a few years back. Hope you enjoy!)



As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,

I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s butt anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while

A tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise? I don’t think so.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,

the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the

eyesight to tell the difference.



Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:


1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded. 

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded. 

6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it? 

7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser. 

8. Some days, you’re the top dog; some days you’re the hydrant. 

9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them. 

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere. 

13. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom. 

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees. 

15. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. 

16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere. 

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”. 

19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded. 



When Writing Advice Becomes Too Much

Writer/Blogger K.M. Allan tells it like it is!

K.M. Allan

First, let me say I understand it’s ironic to write a post about writing advice being too much on a blog about writing advice, but I’m going to be as ironic as Alanis Morissette—and as bad as that dated reference—and write about it anyway. Most likely to the song, because let’s face it, it’s in your head now too, right?

Second, I will say writing advice is great and I wouldn’t have achieved anything without it. If I hadn’t followed advice for forming a writing habit, my YA series would still be where it was five years ago—a sad, one book draft on my computer, rarely worked on with weak outlines for the other three books. Now the series, although still on my computer, is four complete books at various stages of not as sad drafts.

Another reason writing advice is great is that without it, I wouldn’t have…

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Book Review: Deadly Spirits by E. Michael Helms

From Mystery/Thriller writer E. Denise Billups:

E. Denise Billups, Writer

Deadly Spirits by E. Michael Helms

Title: Deadly Spirits (A Mac McClellan Mystery Book 4)

Author: E. Michael Helms

Genre: Hard-Boiled Mystery, Thriller, Suspense

Publisher: Camel Press, January 3, 2017

Kindle Pages: 268 Pages

Goodreads Synopsis

When PI Mac McClellan’s girlfriend convinces him to join the Palmetto Paranormal Society, he becomes embroiled in a case of whooodunnit. The society president, while investigating an old hotel, is found dead at the foot of the stairwell, his neck broken. The man’s secretary and current squeeze stands horrified beside his body. Authorities rule the death an accident. Mac has doubts—no one heard the man tumbling down the stairs. Then the secretary dies in an apparent suicide. Two deaths in two paranormal investigations, and not a peep out of either victim. Mac suspects there’s more going on than a vengeful spirit.

My Review

This is the first book I’ve read by Mr. Helms, and it won’t be the last. I…

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